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Jan. 9th, 2011


Fandom Suicide

So I think if I (for whatever reason) was going to commit suicide over a fandom, it wouldn't be one that consisted entirely of AIDS and failure, like Hellsing or Final Fantasy. Instead, if I was to die over a fandom, it would be for Shakespeare. And to top it all off, I would pick one of the many interesting ways to off myself from Shakespeare's plays. Preferably the "swallowing fire" incident from Julius Caesar. Because come on, how many people die these days from swallowing fire? Not nearly enough.

PS: I'm not suicidal, especially not over fandom. Though swallowing fire would be pretty awesome.

Mar. 28th, 2010




Epic Fail, sugar.

By the way, there's probably a very obvious, valid reason why Stephenie Meyer's publisher rejected your book. And why girls tend to avoid you, because contrary to your beliefs, no, people DON'T wonder why you don't date. Trust me, we know the reason. :P

That last part made me puke in my mouth.

"This has been one bad week and I'm not just talking about health care.

I've been thinking about this all week and it even kept me up all night Wednesday, barely getting any sleep. I still cannot believe it happened but alas, real life can suck sometimes and all you can do is accept it and move on. I feel like I've been dumped or something...weird because we never dated."

Dignity has never been your strong point in life, I'd like to assume?

Mar. 27th, 2010


Analyzing something (political entry)

Chances are if you're a close friend of mine, you've already read this letter. So if you don't want to see me beat a dead horse, you should probably skip this entry.

This is for everyone who isn't up to date on what's been going down. Especially the people on my Friends Lists who are political.

Recently I ended a friendship strictly because this guy, even though he labeled me as a CLOSE friend, was EXTREMELY judgmental and inconsiderate, especially when it came down to my beliefs. Every time I came to his journal, there was always SOME entry that was either unfairly judgmental and harsh towards women, other minorities, and of course, people on the Left. Even in conversations with him when he would inquire about my attraction towards older men, he acted TOTALLY judgmental and asked if I was into age play, if I realized actors like Sam Neill were old enough to be my grandfather, how people with a ten year gap don't last long in relationships, the list goes on.

But the final straw was his journal entry on the Health Care plan. Mind you, I don't have all the information on this issue, so I don't have an opinion or a stand on the matter. I wasn't pissed at him for his apparant dislike of it.

I was pissed because he made a comment saying: "It's going to take some people to live in both poverty and submission for them to FINALLY wake up and see the evils of the Left."

Keep in mind that I made it obvious in another journal entry that even though I'm not interested in politics, when I am, I'm usually Liberal and I mostly lean on the Left. This guy knew this, and he was my friend. I have never openly insulted Republicans or the people on the Right on this website, or DA, or Facebook, because he is also on those websites, he would've been able to read them, and I didn't want to say anything that would offend or insult my friend. So it would always piss me off that he would go out of his way to demonize and say such hateful things about Liberals and the people on the Left without thinking about how it would affect me.

This is what spawned this journal: http://asmilingmalice.livejournal.com/69469.html

And naturally he read it, and then sent me an e-mail. This is what it was:

I chose to write here instead of on livejournal. I know you were talking about me.

"the evils of the left". A question fo ryou: Did I call you or anyone who know evil? No. Did I call any ONE person or even group of people evil? No. I called the left evil and let me explain:

The left in this country, in this day and age are not Democrats. They are progressives who feel that America itself and the constitution is evil and therefore must be destroyed. The vast majority of the politicians who claim to be Democrats are not Democrats, they are the progressives that I mentioned.

People, regular people who consider themselves on "the left" are actually, more often than not, nothing like the politicians with the "D" next to their name. The same can be said for conservatives and politicians with the "R" next to theirs. I'm willing to bet that if you knew everything that our government does would make your skin crawl. It sure does to me.

I might add that YOU have stated more than one thing that I disagreed with or even found offensive but because we are friends, I let it slide. See, us on the right are more tolerant than you thought.

If you find what I feel and think offensive, then you have the luxury of passing over my livejournal. I've done so with yours sometimes.
I love you Ali, you are my friend and a dear supporter who gave me support and encouragement when my own FAMILY doesn't. You have no idea how much that helps.

If you chose to not be friends anymore, then this will be the worst day of my life.

I don't want to debate or argue, remember I was not calling you out or anyone else. I'm angry and scared for what is happening. Can you blame me?

Please, don't reply to this. Just think about what I've said.


This was my response:

List all the offensive things I've said to you. I garuntee a good portion of them was either entirely justified or out of frustration.

And don't think for a second that I HAVEN'T let your shit slide either. Quite frankly I've been gradually growing more irritated with you ever since that comment you made about Native Americans oh so long ago. The only reason I haven't decided to just cut you out of my life was because we actually DID get along despite our differences at first, and because you were fun to be with at Youmacon. But I an honestly say that I can't even have a conversation with you these days without KNOWING that you're going to take everything that I say and judge me about it later. If you're just going to cause unnecessary stress for me then where is this friendship going?

(The comment about Native Americans is a story for another time)

He didn't reply to the e-mail. Though I'm confident that he read it and did not like it. But a couple things about HIS e-mail:

He says that he didn't call me, someone I know, or a group evil. But then turns around and says that he calls "The Left" evil. If me and the people are know lean towards the Left, then yeah. He just called us evil.

Also, I love how he IMMEDIATELY assumes that I find the people on the Right to be "intolerant." Instead of saying "I'm more tolerant than you thought," he says "Us on the right are more tolerant than you thought."

Yeah, Jon. The Right MIGHT be. YOU, however, are not. That has been made abundantly clear with the next piece to this drama. A girl comments on his journal about how evil the Left is, and this is what she says:

I am BEYOND livid about this whole ordeal. And then I see these kids I have on my friends lists going on and on about how wonderful this is, and "take that, Republicans!", and it makes me even more furious. The fact that these brats sat around bitching for 8 years about Bush, when what happened yesterday was ten times worse than anything he did, and the death toll over the course of this system will be infinitely greater than the death toll in the Irag war, infuriates me.

I agree completely with everything you wrote here. The same thoughts have been going through my head all damn day.

I don't know why, but for some reason or another, Jon feels the need to talk about me in order to respond to this girl. And he does so with this:

One of my LJ friends is livid with ME for what I said. Shame, she's a dear friend and supporter of my work. I love her, I really do, but her attitude drives me insane and many of her ideas are that of the people whom you mentioned. I guess what it's going to take is people finally LIVING in a socialist nation for themto realize just how evil socialism is.

So I read this. I know it's about me. And naturally, I respond and say that I don't recall ever saying something along the lines of "Take that, Republicans!" and ask him what "dear friend" is he talking about? He says that this has nothing to do with him or me, so I reply with this:

You compared me to the people on her list going "Take that republicans!" and claim that you have a good understanding of what my ideas are even though I haven't said shit about this Health Care drama and then say that it has nothing to do with me.

'Scuse me, I'm allergic to bullshit.


And this is true. On my journal, I haven't said ANYTHING about Bush, Republicans, The Right, or Health Care. So I don't know where he gets off thinking that I'm one of these people on his friend's FL. The only time I say anything political on here is when it deals with abortion, the church, Bill O'Reilly, and the occassional Nailin' Palin joke. That's it.

He tells me to stop being overly-sensitive. So I tell him to quit being a douche.

THEN, he sends me this e-mail:

I want it noted that I never called you a name. YOU called me a douche and yet I never called you anything but my friend. If this is what you want then fine.

I still love you Ali and hope that someday you'll change your mind. But as I write this I do have a tear in my eye.

Personally, I feel that after spending months dealing with his bullshit while he still acted like a complete inconsiderate ass, this one instance of name-calling was well-earned.

And I would like it noted that, for being someone who was quick to judge me on being attracted to older men, the tone in this e-mail sounds like one of a guy who broke up with a girlfriend.

Fucking creepy.

I'm sorry for this unusually long journal, but I'm curious about a third party's opinion on this matter.

Feb. 20th, 2010


The Lovely Bones and Batman Returns

Movie discussion thread. Here goes:

The Lovely Bones:
I saw this last night with a friend, and I really enjoyed it. The visuals were spellbinding. I know a lot of people say that Avatar was beautiful and a breakthrough when it came to special effects and CGI, and they're absolutely right, but this was really the first time in a long time that I could really appreciate a film as an art form. It really felt like I was looking at a painting instead of a movie. The overall story was interesting, and even though there were a couple flaws here and there, I still liked it. There were definately some disturbing scenes that were uncomfortable to watch, especially between the murderer and the main character, and there was a lot of suspense. I'd go and see it again for sure.

Batman Returns:
Finished watching it a few moments ago. When I was younger I only caught bits and pieces of this movie, and this is the first time in probably 10 years that I've watched the movie. I finally watched it from start to finish and personally, I think I enjoyed this one better than the first Batman. Sure, Penguin is absolutely disgusting and Christopher Walken's hair looks like Beetlejuice, but Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman really steals the show. She was quite possibly the most entertaining character in the film. Ontop of that, this movie really made me appreciate Michael Keaton as Batman, especially when it came to his forbidden love with Selina. And for some reason, even though this film is very campy, I didn't mind it as much as I did in the first film. Probably because there was no Prince music in the background this time around...

Feb. 19th, 2010


Thanks Griz

Why Nice Guys Are Often Such LOSERS

Pretty insightful even for me. Can kind of see where they're coming from.

Feb. 14th, 2010



....never go on a date with someone you met at an anime convention. I was dumb enough to make this mistake four times, so it's pretty much set in stone at this point.

Jan. 26th, 2010


You know...

The more I think about it, I think the reason why I hate the Twilight series so passionately is because Bella Swan reminds me so much of this person I know.

Jan. 20th, 2009



I find it kinda hilarious that awhile back two certain people were so offended by what I had to say (and apparentally still are) and it all started from when I posted a piece of artwork on a community. Most of the harsh comments being said were personal attacks and the other team taking certain things too seriously, but a fraction of those attacks was about how terrible my art was. Most of the comments I took into consideration and used to better my art. Then there were some comments like "she wears low cut shirts and nothing modest".

Considering that one of these two ladies(?) was a rather good arist and the other one claimed to be in a graphic design class, I figured that the latter would be a skilled artist as well.

Then I found her DA page.

And her ID.

And her friend's cosplay pictures.

I lol'ed.

Dec. 19th, 2008


New Journal

I decided to get away from the people and memories of my old journal and start from scratch here.